Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
a search helicopter?!
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Randomize
