we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
