And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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