ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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