I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
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