Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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