If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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