Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize