So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize