you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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