i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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