i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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