just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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