God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
