Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
