i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
