okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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