I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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