At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
