is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Randomize
