Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize