Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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