did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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