you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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