so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
