you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
