We need to rekindle our bromance
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
