the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Randomize
