I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
