Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
