that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
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You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
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This is my gift to your gina
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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