Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
