Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
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