feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
