i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize