do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
