Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
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he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
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Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
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