some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
