Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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