What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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