he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize