Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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