You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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