I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
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someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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