hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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