based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
