And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
