I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
