I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
