you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
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If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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