just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
