last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
