Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
