I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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