Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize
