make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
