It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize
