No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
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Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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