He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
