But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Randomize
