u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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