we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
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