Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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